Churches Find Glee in Misfortune

Times are hard, but apparently there’s one industry that seems to grow during those hard times. Religion… and religious leaders are crowing the virtues of unemployment and fear of unemployment driving up their numbers.

“It’s a wonderful time, a great evangelistic opportunity for us,” said the Rev. A. R. Bernard, founder and senior pastor of the Christian Cultural Center in Brooklyn, New York’s largest evangelical congregation, where regulars are arriving earlier to get a seat. “When people are shaken to the core, it can open doors.”

This puts the churches right in the same category as another company that is profiting off of the misery of others. Wal-mart:

“In my mind, there is no doubt that this is Wal-Mart time,” H. Lee Scott Jr., the company’s president and chief executive, said recently at a meeting of analysts and investors in Wal-Mart’s hometown, Bentonville, Ark. Referring to the discount chain’s founder, he added, “This is the kind of environment that Sam Walton built this company for.”

Perhaps it’s time to merge the two together. Create another type of Wal-Mart megastore with a built-in church. That way, you can get all of your Sunday chores done in one swoop. First, you can go to the Wal-Mart church, then as soon as you’re done praying for your job or praying to keep your job, you can go and contribute to the nation’s lack of jobs by buying cheap stuff made by slave labor in third world countries.

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